Thankful

I know I am a couple of weeks late for Thanksgiving, but I am still Thankful. I apologize for the length of the post, but hey people have been bugging me to post something, so here you go.

I was listening to my Josh Groban "Noel" CD on my way to work this morning and I ended up crying the whole way to work. I usually do during the second song ("I'll Be Home for Christmas" with all of the military and their families' speaking during the song) so that wasn't a surprise. What was a surprise was the excessive amount of water that was ruining my freshly applied morning make-up during the fourth song... "Thankful."

I don't think it would catch anyone off guard for me to say that it's been a rough year. Most of my friends are married and moved/moving far away from me. For the first time in my life I was enjoying going to Relief Society and getting to know people in the neighborhood, and then we got called to the bubble of Primary. I know all of the kids in the ward, but was afraid I would never know any grown-ups. I started a new job that I thought would be amazing for me, but I just don't enjoy it like I did my previous job. Dave's sister passed away suddenly and that shook our world like I wouldn't have ever believed possible. We have been trying to start our family for over a year and a half and haven't been able to get pregnant. As happy as I am for others, it's so hard when almost all of our married siblings and friends have had or will have babies in the time we have been trying. In my doctor's attempts to make sure everything is alright, we found a gall stone that was approximately golf ball size. Just three weeks from that finding, I had my galbladder removed. We have both suffered from bad sinus infections most of the fall. And my kidneys hate me. That battle is ongoing. I know I seem down a lot, but I usually try to just brush it off and my response is usually "I'm fine" or "I'm just tired". I know my mom especially can see right through it, but I always give it a try.

Anyway, as much as this year has been rough, it has been wonderful too. Dave and I have grown stronger in our relationship as we have struggled together. We have had the opportunity to learn and grow as we have pled with the Lord for understanding, strength, and patience. The veil seems to be thin with Jenni on the other side and the Lord's tender mercies are everywhere. We have a plaque in our living room that says "Because Someone We Love Is In Heaven, We Feel Heaven In Our Home" How true! We are closer to family and are working on those important relationships. We have a house. We both have jobs. We are planning and saving for the future. We have made some incredible friendships in our ward, despite the primary bubble. We know that we will have children when the time is right, we (I) just have to be more patient in waiting for Heavenly Father to bless us with our little angels when the time is truly right. One of my sweet primary girls asked me a couple of weeks ago if I had a baby yet. When I said no, she asked if I was going to have one. I said hopefully soon, I really want one. Her response was "Probably Heavenly Father is just deciding which one to send to you." Thank you Kendell, what faith from a little child!

We also know that although it has been a rough year for us, others have had it worse. We have a renewed commitment this holiday season to help others, to make ourselves better, and to do all that we can to be worthy of our Savior's presence this Christmas. Thank you all for being a part of my life and making my life better! This is the song that touched me today. Especially the chorus.

"Thankful" By Josh Groban
Somedays we forget to look around us.
Somedays we can't see the joy that surrounds us.
So caught up inside ourselves, we take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And on this day we hope for what we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change;
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves, there's so much sorrow.
It's way too late to say I'll cry tomorrow.
Each of us must find our truth, it's so long overdue.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And everyday we hope for what we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change;
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences,
There is a place we're all connected.
Each of us can find each other's light.

So for tonight we pray for what we know can be.
And on this day we hope for what we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change;
And even though this world needs so much more,

There's so much to be thankful for.

P.S. Can this count as my Christmas Card this year?!?